True kindness is not only a virtue and a joy, it is also a weapon, one that is much more powerful than violence.
It is true that it is difficult to be kind to someone who is depraved and deceitful, and especially to someone who insults us, but it is this person in particular whom we should treat kindly, both for his sake and for ours.
Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not tell you until seven times, but, until seventy times seven.”
— Matthew 18:21–22
If you know how people should lead their lives to achieve what is good for them, and you wish the best for people, then you will express it to them and you will express it in such a way that they will believe you. In order for you to be believed and understood, you must try to convey your thoughts calmly and with kindness.
And meanwhile, how often do we do just the opposite. We are very capable of conversing with someone with whom we are in agreement, or almost in agreement; but when we see that the person we are speaking with does not believe the truth which we accept, or even does not understand it, and, despite our efforts to explain it to him, keeps disagreeing with us and is seemingly being stubborn or distorting our words, how quickly then do we lose our calm and become annoyed! We either begin to get angry and say unpleasant things to this person, or we end the conversation, thinking that it is not even worth speaking with someone who is so dull-witted or stubborn.
When you want to show the person you are speaking with some truth, then the most important thing is to not get annoyed and to not utter a single unkind or insulting word.
— After Epictetus
If you notice a fault in someone, correct him gently and show where he is wrong. And if he is not listening to you, blame only yourself or, even better, do not blame anyone, and keep being gentle.
— Marcus Aurelius
If you have parted ways with a person, if he is not happy with you, if he had disagreed with you when you were right, then the blame probably lies with you and not with him, because you have been unkind in your interactions with him.
