Leo Tolstoy
Circle of Reading
Translated by Dmitry Fadeyev

July 15

My corporeal life is subject to suffering and death, and no amount of effort on my part can rid me of suffering or death. My spiritual life, however, is subject neither to suffering nor death. And therefore my salvation from suffering and death lies in one thing only: in transferring my consciousness into my spiritual self.

1

There are two ways to perceive the world.

One way—the most crude and unavoidable—is by means of the five senses. If this was the sole means of perceiving the world, then, instead of forming in us the world we know, there would be meaningless chaos.

The other way is this: having perceived yourself through a love for yourself, you use the same love to perceive other beings: people, animals, plants, rocks, celestial bodies, and then again, by means of this love, you perceive relationships between these beings, and from these relationships you form the whole world as we know it.

This way of perception restores the unity between beings that the first way of perception had broken. This way of perception is based on love, i.e. on merging yourself with all other beings, with God.

2

… not my will, but yours, be done. (Luke 22:42)
… not what I desire, but what you desire. (Mark 14:36)
… not as I will, but as you will. (Matthew 26:39)

3

We need only one thing: to perceive God. All feelings, all forces of the mind and intellect, all external means of comprehension are in essence only rays of divinity, only means of worshipping God. We must learn to detach ourselves from everything that can be lost, and attach ourselves exclusively to the eternal and foundational; everything else can be enjoyed as things loaned to us for a time. Worship, understand, accept, feel, give, act—here is your law, your duty, your happiness, your heaven—let it be what will be, even death. Establish an inner harmony, live before God, in communication with him, and let eternal forces, which are beyond your control, direct your life. If death does not take you yet, then so much the better. If it carries you away, then again, so much the better. If it kills you partially, then even this is better: it shuts for you the field of success to open the field of deeds, selflessness and moral greatness. Every life has its greatness, and since it is impossible for you to leave God, it is better to consciously choose him as your abode.

— Amiel

4

So much suffering—and all that just to die after a few minutes! What should we care about and why?

And yet, time is nothing, and your life is full, and this day will last a thousand years if during it you can find God.

— Amiel

5

The core of life is not thought, not feeling, not will, not even consciousness, to the extent that it thinks, feels and wants, because moral truth can be assimilated by all of these means and yet still escapes us. Even deeper than our consciousness is our being: our essence, our true foundation. Only those truths that enter this sphere, becoming a part of us, unexpectedly and involuntarily, instinctively and unconsciously, only they constitute our true life, i.e. our true self. As long as we discern any distance between truth and ourselves, we are outside of it. Thought, feeling, desire, the consciousness of life—all this is not yet life. In essence, we can only find peace and tranquility in life, in life that is eternal. And eternal life is divine life, it is God. To be a divine being—that is the purpose of life: only then will we never lose truth, because it will no longer be outside of us, and not even within us, but we will be a part of it, and truth a part of us; we become truth, will and God’s work. Freedom then becomes our nature, creation becomes one with the creator, it merges with him through love, it becomes that which it must be. His education is complete, and his final bliss begins. The sun of time sets and the light of eternal bliss appears.

— Amiel

6

The essence of love for God consists in the soul’s striving for and attraction to its Creator, in order to merge with his highest light.

— The Talmud

7

If you want to perceive the universal self, then first of all you must know yourself. To know yourself, you must sacrifice your self to the universal self. You must sacrifice your life if you want to live in spirit. Detach your thoughts from external things and everything that appears from the outside. Try to repel the forms that appear to you so that they do not cast their dark shadow on your soul.

Your shadows live and disappear. That which is within you is eternal, that which reasons belongs to everlasting life. This eternal is the being that was, is and will be, and whose hour will never strike.

— Brahmin wisdom


What we call the fortune and misfortune of our animal self is outside of our will, it depends on the highest will; but the good or ill of our spiritual self depends on us, on whether we obey or disobey the highest will.